“Great Success!”

After Austen’s attempt to knock over the heavy-metal floor lamp was thwarted by a quick-reflexed mommy during a playdate here at home, she had to think up another way to do herself some damage.

A few days later, without any help from the folks on Jack*ss, she came up with a plan to fall down the steps and see what happens. She waited for her opportunity and pounced: as we opened the stair gate at the top of the steps, she slid down the first step as she normally does and then, ingeniously, leaned forward and tumbled down three steps, landing on her back.

As a reward, she got this shiner. She even got to go visit the pediatric ER since her worry-wart first-time parents didn’t want to take any chances.

The morals of the story: Watch Borat’s movie, persistence eventually yields results, and cats don’t like to bathe.