Negotiations

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Everyday Mama has to negotiate with Austen to get her to do things, like hold still for dressing, clean up, finish playing in the sink, or follow Mama downstairs. It’s a tricky situation because Austen wants to feel like she’s in control and making at least 50% of the decisions. Having learned to be more amenable after being around Austen so much, Mama lets Austen make some decisions and persuades her (sometimes bribes her) to get her to go along with Mama’s suggestions. Similarly, Austen negotiates to get what she wants, such as videos or chocolate milk. In the car, Austen sometimes screams about wanting to listen to her music, but mostly she says please and tries to convince Mama that it’s “Austen’s turn” to listen to “Austen’s music.”

A typical exchange:

“Let’s go downstairs!” says Mama, as she walks to the door of the master bedroom.
“No. Upstairs,” says Austen, defiantly.
“But we’ll get a snack. Do you want a snack?”
“No! Watch ‘eo . Barney.”
“Okay, we’ll watch Telletubbies downstairs, and Mama will check some e-mail on the computer.”
“Okay! Work on the concuter [computer]. Austen plays Elmo game!?”
“Not right now. Later.”
“Later!? Just a minute?”
“No, not right now.”
“Not today?!”
“Yes, today but maybe later.”

Another typical exchange:

“Piece of chocolate!” says Austen, seeing the box of Godiva on the counter.
“Okay, one piece.”
Austen eats chocolate.
“It’s so yummy, huh?” asks Mama.
“Another one?”
“Just one piece.”
“Last one! Last one!”
“No, not right now. You can have chocolate meeka later.”

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