Top 20 Wackiest Things that Happened in Cape May

(20) Jim Close. Period.

(19) I’m tired of these motherf—ing snakes on the motherf—ing ceiling.

(18) Heather “packed” and headed home, leaving a closet full of dresses.

(17) Despite sharing a beach house, we didn’t once go to the beach as a group.

(16) Zack complained about the bad service at Frieda’s Café by knotting many of the dinner napkins.

(15) Lucinda offered to make French toast and then asked Mark, “How do you make French toast?”

(14) While driving on the Garden State Parkway (for about 20 exits), Beerinder asked, “Why’d we pass the turnoff for the GSP?”

(13) Morgan couldn’t figure out how to sweep the porch because she thinks brooms are a mode of transportation.

(12) Asked by a waitress where he’s visiting from, Davinder replied, “New Jersey.”

(11) Holly spent considerable time looking for one of Morgan’s toys (“the little guy”). Afterward, the toy was segregated from the rest of the communal toys for the remainder of the vacation.

(10) Heather came to Cape May straight from India. She’s been there more than any Indian-Americans we know.

(9) “Patka that!” Much of the day was spent Patka-ing on walkie-talkies, using the following handles:

Austen: Crazy Baby
Lucinda: Dr. Lu
Davinder: Big Sikh
Beerinder: Running Indian
Heather: Lloyd Heat
Janet: Vodka and Cheese
Susan: Precious Librarian
Hannah: Jailbait
Phoebe: Smelly Cat, Stinky Cheese, Gorgonzola, or Gorgo
Mark: Grumpy, Grumpy Geek, or Broken Weiner
Jen: Grumpy’s Wife
Emma: Mudbutt
Erin: Grumpy’s Youngest
Tod: Pastey White Boy
Holly: Witchy Whitey
Morgan: Witchy Moo
Zack: Wimpy Whitey
Joey: Chocolate Salty Balls, CSB, or Mall Dude
Earl: Senior Grumpy

Clearly, the Rodeys came up with most of these.

(8) Running Indian did a rain dance and, soon after, it rained.

(7) Once again, Lucinda beat everyone at Texas Hold’em, much to Joey’s surprise.

(6) After relaxing at the beach condo for most of the week, on Friday Janet declared, “I’m taking a break today.”

(5) Quite shockingly, even Hannah’s parents started calling her by the nickname ‘Jailbait.’

(4) “Imagine the possibilities/I wonder what’s under your pants” is the potty training song shared with the group by Tod and Holly.

(3) Mark spits wine in Beerinder’s face while laughing at his own joke.

(2) Asked for Morgan’s date of birth, Tod replied, “Uhh, let me go check with Holly.”

(1) Austen developed a sudden strong attachment to Grandpa Earl, preferring him to all others, even her mommy and daddy at times. Miracles never cease.